This is going to be quick because I’m on my way out the door.

Usually when I check the mailbox, it’s for a check or a bill. Today, I received gold. Pure gold.

The fantastic actor, John Doman, who plays Bill Rawls on The Wire just sent me an autographed headshot! It reads: Joe: You are a gaping asshole!–Bill Rawls.

Then he signed it, John Doman. Very classy move to attribute the character’s uncouth quote (his inscription to me) to the character and not the actor. That’s Rawls not Doman talking.

This is going right next to my letter from Bill Clinton and Jimmy Webb’s inscribed (to me) book on songwriting.

Tuesdays have always been pretty good to me.

Thanks, Mr. Doman.

We have tossed three more songs off the new album out there for you to listen to. I suppose, to be consistent, I ought to write a little something (true or not) about each. What I’d really like to do is finish this coffee in peace before junior wakes up, but I’m a glutton for mayhem, so here goes.

1. In the tune Automaton, Peyton plays a guitar lead that is ridiculously be-hooked. I dare you. Don’t sing his lead. (I know. That’s a loaded imperative. It’s like someone saying, “Whatever you do, don’t think of a naked lady right now.”

2. B.S. Johnson is simply an homage to the late great writer of the same name. It’s safe to say that he was not/is not widely read here in America, but he should be. My brother is a pretty bright guy. He’s read a couple books, and upon seeing the title, thought I’d created fictional character, a Walter Mitty type, named Bullshit Johnson. I told him I had, but that’s for the next record.

Jonathan Coe (a master in his own right), upon hearing the song, emailed to let me know I’d managed to sum up BSJ’s life in two minutes, twenty-two seconds, and that it took him 500 pages to do so in his spectacular bio of B.S. called Like a Fiery Elephant. I’m a big fan of JC’s, and it was as if Elvis (Costello) had written. I told my UK publicist I am indebted to him for getting the record to Mr. Coe. And that if he gets one to Elvis Costello, I’ll swim the Atlantic and wash his (my publicists, not EC’s) feet.

3. Conscience Clean (I went to Spain) is one of maybe three songs of mine I actually find myself listening to…for enjoyment. I’m not exactly sure why. It touches a nerve in me a way 99% of my tunes do not. Before a record comes out, I’ll listen to it lot, as a critic. I listen to other people’s records for enjoyment.

And for those of you confused by the Boston accent, the lyrics go like this:

So I threw a “dart” at Europe/
She hit Michigan.

That’s about it. So check out the songs if you’d like. And whatever you do, do not think of a naked lady now.

In Joyce’s last post, she wrote: “Joe, just go along with it. This stuff sells records. I know how to sell records.”

Allow me to add the following regarding the three new songs now up for streaming:

1. PCH One is actually about fear of death.

2. For those of you who might not know, the term “zero refills” is what it says on your prescription bottle when there are, you guessed it, zero refills left. This song is about fear of death.

3. Microscopic View is, obviously, about the unbridled joy associated with the fear of death.

All that business Joyce wrote about a CHiPS remake is not true, but an idea, I have little doubt, the irony-on T-shirt wearers (you heard that phrase here first) who toil in the “updated classics” industry have kicked around and into submission.

Hope you enjoy the new tunes.

I’m co-writing a script based on my Meat is Murder book with an actor from NYC named Neal Huff. Just so happens Neal has a role in the upcoming season of The Wire. Very cool. He shared a trailer with the Captain whose autographed photo I want to read as following: “For Joe. You are a gaping a**hole. With love, The Captain.”
(You got that, Neal?)